Losing and Finding Ourselves

It is true that women often lose touch with their bodies, but why is this? 

 This is dedicated to women, particularly mothers who have devoted their lives to others and have lost touch with themselves in the process. It is so important to have understanding and empathy for the mothers in our lives: ourselves, our own mothers, and all mothers in humanity. Many mothers take their job of parenting so seriously that in the process of taking care of everyone else, they forget about themselves.  These are the women for which I have the greatest compassion and honor their commitment and sacrifice. 

“She let herself go and now she is old and bitter”.  I have heard this statement more times than I can count in my life and it wasn’t until I become middle aged myself that I understood how unfair a judgement it is.  Does anyone ever stop to think about the story behind “Letting ourselves go”?  It is true that women often lose touch with their bodies, but why is this? 

Our society has a belief that to be a mother, you have to be selfless – translating into “less care for self than others” which often leads to “minimal or no care” for self.  Families will take as much as Mothers will give, and it is very important for mothers to know their limits and make time for themselves.

 “There is nothing more rare, or beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.  ”― Steve Maraboli 

  We have not been taught to value the mother.  Women have to work harder and harder to prove their value, not only as mothers and wives but in the workplace.  And for women who have to juggle careers, parenting, marriage expectations, community involvement, taking care of their own aging parents, being sleep deprived… there is not a lot of time left in the day to tend to themselves – so they become disconnected from their own needs and often end up compromising their own health.

 In order to keep ourselves from becoming “bitter” (pardon the expression) I encourage women to practice mindfulness in addition to physical and nutritional self care.  We need to feel that we are worthy of taking care of ourselves.  We also really need to support each other, understand each other, defend rather than judge each other, cheer each other on, and find times to laugh with each other.

 I think having a self care journal is an excellent practice.  We can keep track of things we do every day that benefit just us women (physical activity, time alone, taking a walk, a bath, reading a book, gardening, singing, any art outlet, prayer or meditation, learning a new skill, language or instrument…). Connecting to Gratitude every day by keeping a Gratitude Journal is transformative and one of the things that I recommend for all my clients – especially women. Make the time – go within, find yourself and tend to your own internal garden. 

With compassion and love… Claire Nielsen   info@elixirforlife.ca

(Shared with permission by Claire Nielsen)



















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